Sooo...14 day's left in this semester and holly wow it's going fast. Thats good though. Im in need of some new classes...and a break. A nice long break in some place that is not Florida. And i need to see my nieces. I'm looking foward to seeing all my friends again so that will be good and even the blasted snow. Mmk, off to study. Ta!

COMBAT CARDS 2.1

watch thers_day2002 fight

CREATE YOUR CARD

So...surgery is Tuesday and I can't say I'm not nervous. I mean, I know I went through it before but this is a major surgery we're talking about. It's the equivalent of breaking my leg. No walking on my own for six weeks, medication enough to make me hate pain pills, and enough sitting down to make even me bored. At least I have my pool. It's the only way to take the pressure off of my knee for a couple weeks and working on my tan won't be such a bad thing either. I get an epidural this time too instead of them putting me out so as they say I'll be numb from the waist down and happily fuzzy from the waist up. Im not so sure I want to hear them chipping off my bone or screwing into the correct place again. I might have to borrow Mattys ipod (I hate ipods). I'm not an apple person but I may just have to make an exception so I don't freak out. *laughs* Knowing me though I'll probably want to see what their doing. I am oddly curious. I suppose surgery is better than living with the pain. The scar IS gonna be pretty cool though.

I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't have something to complain about. It makes me feel bad that others feel so helpless or lost or just pissed off at themselves or others. I guess the warm weather down here has saved me once again. I always feel so much better after I've been outside walking in the nice warm weather. And, if I ever get the urge to feel a rush, a quick trip to the airport and back always makes me feel alive again. I mean quick though. I usually end up going 20 over the speed limit.

I feel lucky to have found these little things that make me feel better. Bookstores to calm me down and drives to rev me up. Solutions to my life that leave me feeling quite content really. I'm having the best time since I got back from spring break. It's great. I hate it when I know my friends aren't feeling as good about things as I am, but I realize that sometimes ya just need to wallow.




Word of the Day:
Edacious - given to eating

"When am I going to go upwards, hmm?" She pointed vaguely at the treetops.

"Oh, well, I had not planned-"

"Please, Rhimlath?"

"Well, yes, I suppose-"

"Oh, fantastic! Thank you!"

"It will be a long climb…"

"I do not mind."

"A very long climb…"

"It does not matter."

"And we will go very high," Lindir warned.

"I do not care."

Of course, it did matter and she did both mind and care in the end, but she could not say they had not warned her.

So... I went to the beach yesterday and it was sooooo good. Spent two hours in the sun just being realaxed. I did get a sun burn but thanks to aloe, It's mostly all gone. :) So right now, I'm hanging out and supposed to be working on a couple papers. Lord knows I have enough of them to do. Oh well, I'm still watching the olympics and can't be bothered with three papers. *grins* Right, I'm off now.

ta!

Today was cool. I got up at noon and after a quick lunch mum and I went shopping in one of the biggest malls I’ve been in. It was loads of fun poking around in all these designer stores and trying on $12000 dollar dresses just to decided the $300 one looked better. Went into every shoe store there and didn't find one pair of shoes I liked. Oh where oh where have all the 80's track shoes gone?! I was disappointed. I'm due for a new pair but I cant seem to find any I like. At any rate mum and I circled the whole mall in 4 hours. I got a few new shirts in bright fun colours. I'm still getting use to the colour thing. Denver doesn't do colour even close to how Miami does colour. Mum said that she got me on the plane to come to Cabo San Locus with them mid may and was running me through the clothes I would need for the dinners. She said I would need one fairly good dress because the last night was going to be fancy. So...I got to try on all these really great dresses that I don't think I would wear more than a few times with a price tag that would send me homeless. I did manage to find this perfect purple one but the store only had one size left and it was too small for me. *pouts* I tried on a bunch of others but I liked the purple one best.

You know that feeling when you're being watched? I swear people were looking at me all day and it un-nerved me. I kept checking in mirrors to make sure nothing was wrong with me. I didn't find anything out of the ordinary but people just kept looking. I hate that. At first I thought I was being paranoid but when mum and I were in one of the cafes getting a drink I decided I really wasn't. There was this girl in her 30's who was with either a boyfriend or husband and every time she talked to him I could see she was looking at me or at a point just over my shoulder. She would turn to actually address the guy ever so often before returning her stare. Creepy. Guys did it too. I would walk by with mum just talking and doing nothing out of the ordinary and they would just look at me like I'd just done something weird. It was odd and creepy and I hated it. After we left the mall, we picked Curt up from the golf course and he was buzzed. It's the drunkest I've ever seen I think. He goes, "I started at 11 with a bloody marry followed by three beers then a margarita. I had another beer after that and for desert, a germen chocolate cake martini." (I tried a bit, it was good) I was laughing cause the guys he was talking to...totally smashed. One of um goes so what do you do for a living? and I told him I went to school and he asked how old I was. I said 18 and his eyes just get really big and he goes, I could have sworn you were 25! I just smiled and he kept babbling on something I couldn't quite understand. It was interesting. Went out to dinner again, had a nice time. Came home finished most on my essay that’s due Wednesday and finished my reading for my reading test tomorrow morning. I have two more essays due Friday and I really need to work on those so i don't fail or something. Other than that, not to much going on. The rents leave for the islands Tuesday morning and will come back to visits for two more days when there done before moving on back to the CO.
Mmk, I really need sleep...
Ta!


Random fact from the depths of Christy’s brain (and internet):
60.7 percent of eligible voters participated in the 2004 presidential election, the highest percentage in 36 years. However, more than 78 million did not vote. This means President Bush won re-election by receiving votes from less than 31% of all eligible voters in the United States.

I’m in a bit of a conundrum. My best friend is unhappy and I’m getting to the point of not caring. You see, she has this...boyfriend whom she loves but I’m quite sure he doesn't love her back. I suppose this wouldn't be much of an issue if he was actually around. He disappears for weeks at a time doing god knows what or whom and then waltz back like nothing ever happened for one night before leaving again. I get ditched repeatedly for the slight possibility that he might ACTUALLY show up like he promised. I'm getting pissed off. When did the best friend take a back seat to a POSSIBILITY? WTF!?! Another point of irritation is the fact that I’m back for two bloody weeks and I haven’t seen her hardly at all. And then she has the audacity to complain about being ditched a few times by another of our friends for a boy that actually shows up and cares for her. Ha! Irony is a bitch. I suppose a good point to it all is that I am getting closer to my other friends, the ones who are in town, like me, for a limited amount of time. I don't want to be friends with someone who isn't willing to go half way of a friendship. I've done that before and I refuse to do it again and if that means losing my best friend of 13 years for my own sanity, then so be it. My guy best friend is quickly becoming my foremost best friend. He’s cool like that. Maybe I've changed or maybe she has, I don't know but she's pissing a majority of the people I know off. I leave tomorrow morning early and I'm spending the rest of today with my mum. I don't think I'll even see her before I leave again for 5 months and as of right now, I'm okay with that. I'm done being the one to always call or text to get together or just talk. It's her turn to make a move. Lord knows she's had enough practice with that 'boyfriend' of hers. I just don't know what to do anymore and I'm sick of being angry or irritated at the situation. I've moved to being nonchalant really. I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.

Oh yeah... Happy fucking New Year

Why is it that everytime I try and go to sleep my mind kicks into over drive and i start thinking like crazy? THen I lay there for about an hour and write DJ entries in my mind. Sometimes that helps and sometimes it doesn't. I suppose it's the only way to get whats REALLY going on inside my head out. There isn't any other way. I just have to talk and the talking is very depressing. I have no friends here so it's the only way to keep myself sane. I hate the phone and it's really no good for conversations that go on inside my brain. THe internet either but this is better than the phone. At least here I have time to collect my thoughts and compose exactly how I want things to come out. Other wise it would be very tedious to get through a conversation with me. I'm a thinker and I don't exactly say much. I'm not really good with words. I get toung tied and most the time there isn't exactly words to describe what i;m feeling. You'll have to excuse me if I just sit here and type but theres really nothing else to do.

Ever notice how no one is how they use to be? Everyone is in a hurry now (including me sometimes) and no one take the time to appreaciate the things we have. I feel like a poet of long ago. Very much so actually. I enjoy poetry but mind you I can't write a verse for the life of me. I believe it is a window to the inner self. Like poets though, I feel a connection to nature more than anything. I think thats what I like most about going to the lake up in California. It's simple up there. If you want wood you have to go chop it. There is no electricity or pluming so you go to bed when it's dark and wake when it pleases you. You do what you have to do to keep the place clean and nothing else. You do as you please with your time. Go hiking in the woods, sit by the water and read, go boating. It's wonderful! The closest town is 30min down the mountains and the people are friendly too. I miss it there. It's been 3 years since i've been there and I really HAVE to go back next summer. My most favorite place is sitting in the hamack reading or just resting and letting my mind drift. I love that. Having my head in the clouds. It's something I find myself doing more and more often. Even when I shouldn't like say... in the middle of class. I can't be doing that this year. Slacking off in my classes. I put myself in the middle of a privet school where things are not as easy as they once were. There not extrordinarily hard mind you but, I can't be putting things off and not minding my homework.

Another way I am like a poet is that I am passionet. If I believe in something, I really believe in it and I tend to stick to an idea. I think thats why I dance so well. Dancing is all about passion and feeling and expressing yourself with out words. Considering I tend to do that anyway, dancing is a good outlet for my emosions. I always feel drained after a dance lession. I believe because of the excess out pore of emotion that I put my body through. I miss dancing. I haven't done it in a little more than 2 months because of my knee surgery and I'm really starting to feel antsy. To much pent up emotion I think. No out let for it puts me into a restless state with bad sleeping patterns. I need to get my point shoes from my mum so maybe I can dance around my room a little to some classical music and purge the emotion out of me. Thank Budda for tile floors.

I'm tired now. Maybe I'll expand on my odd mmental ramblings later.

Im desperatly hoping for something that isn't going to happen. How could it? The cercumstances are all wrong. But I can't help but hope.
Shit. I'm in trouble...

I wish I didn't have to have money to do the things I want. And of course I never want to do anything small; I always have to dream big. I wish I could just pick up and go. I would be happy. I KNOW I would be happy if I could just do it. I wouldn't even have to have anyone with me. Just me by myself… and maybe a guide. Traveling around the world and seeing everything that needs to be seen that isn't in any book. I want to see the culture and the life of Europe and the cozy and friendly way of life of those down under. I want to roam in the in tropical jungles of Africa and South America. I want to see everything! I want to climb mountains and go on cave tours and hick till my feet fall off just to see the end of the world. I would love to do it and it's my dream to do it but it involves money. Always money and considering I'm only 18, I have NO money and by the time I have money, I'll be to old to hike till my feet fall off or I'll have a different dream of retiring in Mexico (also not a bad way to go). But I doubt that the fire and desire to see the world will ever go away and I will try and accomplish my goal one city and one town at a time. Until then, I'll dream my big dreams and hope with all my being that one day I will accomplish this task. Someday I will get to see the end of the world and then and only then will I be truly and completely happy.